All those dreams, like fireflies

I have an interview for Grad School on the 28th. I'm very excited about it actually. After this, I will find out relatively quickly if I can matriculate or not, and actually pursue my degree. If everything pans out, and I can indeed head in that direction, I can let a little more life shine through the academia.

It's hard to be excited about being engaged sometimes. It's hard because I feel like I must work towards more imminent goals. Is that strange? I don't see the goal of engagement being my wedding day or handfasting. I see the goal as the turning point into a different adulthood. The goal of "starting grad school" seems more important.

There are a lot of things I am working on as well. Personal goals, like learning to fiddle and being fit. I want to focus as much as possible on these things, and continue to learn and grow in them. Right now I just feel like a chubby kid, clumsily bowing some tunes and trying not to eat that jam and cream cheese on bread (PS, tonight I did. Although I believe it helped me to crank out the last few pages of my paper draft that's due, oh, TOMORROW).

I am looking forward to the day where I can have all the things I'm working for. I see them in my grasp. It reminds me of being a kid, standing in my backyard with a jar and a prayer, hoping if I were still enough I could catch the evening's fireflies.